Copyright © 2007 - 2011 NoxAlio
Very tidy, very lovely. Feels mournful but not so painful. Neat word-work - like embroidery. Thanks for it, Noxalio - PG
And please do feel free to dispose tidily of my previous comment today on 'silence is slightly murder'...pre-meds. I must remember to time my communication-times better.later -Peter
Peter, no need to remove that comment, i understood it perfectly (in my own knotted way, i should say) ... yeah, this one is primarily meant to be read tongue-in-cheek (yet as most things over here, it bears that monotonous theme just above the surface - and slightly below it too - that's how i make sandwiches and write diary-poetry - with the same loaf of bread, every-single-day, it seems ...)
How many loaves does it take, before the sandwich is consumable?I must say Noxy, I do not like the idea of sunrise as devistation, but you have pointed to the obvious elephant, who parades around mid-room while we crane our necks in avoidance. Arrrrgh. Is nothing sacred? Not even sunrise?
hmmm, Annie ... there's a little trickery in there - punctuation and line-breaks can be deceptive and shifty ... but i do agree, sunrises are supposed to be a "reset" (but not for nocturnals; to them dawn is akin to dusk - or something like that) ... and further, devastation is not always destruction, it could simply overwhelm one ... no?did you say sandwich? i'm famished ... BLT anyone?
i adore this ... such tender agony ...*ahem ... i might continue my not-really pompous mood by suggesting a few tweaks? just teeny tiny ones?how about "scurry" rather than "scurrying" (L9) ... only a maybe, not sure ...similarly "on the sway of hips" (L27-ish ... duh .. lost count lol)might sound better?remove "seemed to" and let it flow as "appear in mirrored form"the internal rhymes throughout are beautiful and blossom firework style in the last two stanzas ... awesome writing yet again, you!love the night/day chase .. the beloved's everywhere but i always feel closer by starlight ... isn't there a huge myth/belief system focussed on the way moon and sun deal with each other when it's time to change shift? kind of a battle thing, each in turn the victor?capella ... very very cute ... yep, i had to google as i thought it a dance or music... *hehS
ah, Shell, all perfect edits (what would i do without your eyes?). thank you!!liked the notion of 'a cappella hip sway' ... i almost went with Capella (star of Auriga) but figured the innuendo to be present regardless of spelling ... wish i could tell you the details re: this here, will have to in another form ... it should make you smile, a little more ...yeah, the night/day cycle is endless fascination for me ... a recurring theme, no? ... though i too prefer the nights (noxy = nox, no? ha ha) ... but also love the dawn as much as dusk ... i just don't want a day to end ... thus, over the years, have stayed up later and later, desperately trying to elongate each day (it only works a few days/nights in a row and then this thing called 'need for sleep' creeps in *sigh*) ...
Shell, i should have said 'heartbeat' over 'eyes', i think that's more accurate :)
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