Friday, January 14, 2011

after shadow's silence of your being (literally)



[A variation on Shadow's The silence of your being
please do visit her and say hello]


slight are the quivers at twilight's spring,
chilled by the closing breaths of a setting sun,
they heighten

zephyr's rise to permeate layers
formed and warmed since early dawn;

draft-blasts plumb stubbornly inward—
aiming squarely at the heart.
shivers erupt, then skies darken,

now flashing sparks decorate up above.

left alone
you ponder how now forms yesterday
and perhaps grieve for others
who may never become,

teardrops form

above all
for those who seldom see beauty
in the paleness of a cold blue moon
nor in the forms of her devoutly silent
companions: stillness
and shadows.

now doubt storms torment,
heartache flows a torrent. distress
paints in must and downpours
grays forming squalls
in your soul.

after the tempest
anguish begins to falter
you dissolve into a new-found calm:

solitary slumber may be a potent cure-all
but not for everyone
are the last words you utter

and finally
there's silence.

night storms move on to rage
in subsequent timezones.


7 comments:

Wine and Words said...

No...not for everyone. "distress paints in must and downpours". I always like colors as emotions. I found this heartwrenching. I don't mind stillness. But this was more.

Noxalio said...

yes, i agree, Annie
to me, colors are emotions

and emotions, colors, i suppose

forgetmenow said...

you've decsribed so well one of those crying storms we get from time to time .. how it monsoons and then calms ...

there are extraordianry sonics going on here which are fantastic!

of course there are also a couple of tweaks i'd suggest *grin ...

i'd make it zephyr's rise and get rid of "as"


transform yesterday as opposed to all the "to's" in the ponder verse, and it might be others "who" rather than which?

but i swoon at this

for those who seldom see beauty
in the paleness of a cold blue moon
nor in the forms of her devoutly silent
companions: stillness
and shadows.

(sorry if it loses format in this box)

*ahem .. i'd remove "as" from last line of dissolving verse ...

i adore the whole movement of this and those last two lines ... *secondswoon*

Noxalio said...

oh Shell, all your points are on the spot, see that you think now ...

i have to say, this one was quite annoying on first attempt, so much so that i in fact deleted the first version (i hated it!) ... but a few days later, it wanted to come back, on its own ... so here it is ...

forgetmenow said...

yesyesyes ... you got it! leave it to breathe now and see what others think? *hugs

arspoetica said...

so rich in wet imagery; "distress
paints in must and downpours
grays forming squalls
in your soul...." the juxtaposition of "distress" and "must" with the storm words really works beautifully, a wave crest to the rhythm of the piece.

Noxalio said...

Joanna, as you can see in the preamble, this was not an original idea but a "form" of plagiarism (i suppose, a common practice, no?) ...

a connection is made and i'm very glad you stopped over ... please keep in touch (as life permits) ...